How does one managing those pesky moods? The ups are not a problem it is those downs that are so hard to handle. You may want to consider what type of struggle you have experienced from the past and what you learned from it.
When I lost my dog boo in 2009. It was a tragic deaTH . HE WAS BLEEDING FROM NOSE AND BLOOD WAS ALL OVER HOUSE. I remember wiping it off walls and mopping it up and I had no money to bring him to vet. So I made the decission to have him put to sleep. He was 13 years old. I had a nervous breakdown from it and it took me close to a year to get over it completly he was my therepy dog and we were very close. I never thought at the time I'd move on. I cried a lot and struggled every day not to cry. It was a very sad time iin my life. What I learned from it Is not healthy thinking but never get that close to a animal again. But I managed to let those walls down slowly and have a wonderful dog Harley. Although the relationship is different I have grown to love him and although my memory of Boo will never go away I can deal with the pain in a positive manner and remember the good times
Thank you for sharing such a heartfelt story. Being in this physical world can be very painful, for anything is possible. People helping each other work through the hard times. Always our perception makes a difference. We hold on to so much on this physical plane. It is hard to let go of the things we love so much. The love never dies. The struggle of having to go on is difficult, but staying stuck is not valuable to us or anyone around us. It does seem that we grow through struggle.
Post by wantingtofeeloveagain on Nov 30, 2013 18:56:20 GMT
I feel very angry and depressed lately. I don't know if it is the holidays approaching or just everything in general - my health, the relationship I want to repair with my son (the unresolved feelings involved), how drug abuse has affected my family ( it will never be the same), and an unappreciated job where I was once regarded with respect. I feel very stuck in a dark place again. I am so tired of feeling alone, hopeless and constantly unmotivated. My whole life and identity have changed and now I have to figure it all out. It isn't an easy journey and may take a lot of time. My motto - is one moment, one minute, one day at a time. Sunnier days have to lie ahead
The problem with feeling crappy is that it reinforces feeling crappy. Just for a few minutes, see if you can just be with what is going on in the moment, then sit back as if you were watching a show and look with curiosity at the things going on in your life and allow yourself, just for today to let go. Of course one wants to feel in control of things. We talk to ourselves, we worry, we plan and on and on it goes, till we feel almost sick over it all. In many teachings we are encouraged to let go of control. You might say, "Holy Cow!" How the heck can I do that? If I let go, nothing will change and in fact it will probably get worse. So would you tell me that being worried and anxious is going to change things? The only thing we ever really change is what goes on within us. So here are some things to do: Write down the worst thing that can happen in each situation. Take a walk, get outside, enjoy some beauty... just for today. Write down the best things that could happen in each situation. Now consider how much of this situation is you changing you or you insisting that others change. Or an outside situation change. Challenges are always opportunities for change, but only changing ourselves.
I am going to suggest a book: When Things Fall Apart by Pena Chodron. It would be a good book for all of us to read together.
Myths: We should be happy, if you are struggling in life you must be doing something wrong. This is from a book :The Illustrated Happiness Trap How to Stop Struggling and Start Living by Russ Harris, Bev Aisbett There’s this idea going around that we’re always supposed to be happy—and it’s making us miserable. The good news is, if you can learn to let go of that impossible expectation, your life will be a whole lot happier. Each of us can learn to: Reduce stress and worry Handle painful feelings and thoughts more effectively Break self-defeating habits Overcome insecurity and self-doubt Recognize and treasure the whole range of emotions that make up a satisfying life
This exercise was taken from: Neale Donald Walsch's Conversations with God 7-Week Online Course. I have removed the God sections, as your spirituality is your business.
To start with today, I'd like you to consider how often you feel stuck in your everyday life . . .
Times when you know you need to take action but you're afraid to make a wrong decision. Times when you want to head in a certain direction, pursue a new path, or jump into a new possibility, but you're just not sure it's the right thing.
Something holds you back. You imagine the worst outcome, you worry about how it'll turn out, and it prevents you from moving forward and taking the risk. Even when it's a risk that can yield wonderful possibilities!
This hesitation you're feeling is fear. We all experience it. It's our mind's way of keeping us safe and our heart's way of avoiding emotional pain.
The problem with fear is that it can often prevent you from branching out and spreading your wings, discovering your true purpose, and living a "bigger" life.
It can keep you stuck in a "small" life, coloring always inside the lines, never experiencing the depth and breadth of the world around you.
When you're able to dissolve your fear, you'll feel alive and capable, and it will allow you to express your creativity and therefore, more of who you really are.
Take a few minutes here to ponder something you've wanted to do or experience in your life but have been afraid to and have held back.
As soon as you have something in mind, see what arises in you when you imagine yourself doing this thing you've been afraid to do.
(For the purposes of example here, I'm going to use an action of resigning from a job you aren't happy with in order to start your own business, but when you do the exercise, please insert whatever action you've chosen.)
As you feel your way into the action step by step, you'll probably feel your fear rising, but just keep imagining yourself completing the action in every detail, asking yourself, "What would happen if(that) occurred?" at every turn, until you at last get down to the core of what you're really afraid of.
The goal of this exercise is to get to that core of what is causing your fear. Because chances are, what you think you're afraid of isn't what you're really afraid of.
Here's how this might play out for the example action I just gave:
Q: What would happen if I quit my job and started my own enterprise? A: I'd stop receiving a steady income and go into debt. Q: And then? A: I might not be able to afford to pay my bills. Q: And then? A: I might have to ask for financial help from family and friends. Q: And then? A: I'd feel like a failure. Q: And then? A: I would feel depressed for a while, ashamed of myself. Q: And then? A: I'd get over it eventually. Q: And then? A: I'd look for other opportunities. Maybe my new venture would eventually bring in some income. Q: And then? A: I'd have to get more creative and push past my comfort zone to make it more successful. Q: And then? A: My life would obviously change. Q: And then? A: Then . . . nothing, I suppose. I actually want my life to change!
Once you've asked yourself those kinds of questions until you run out of "what would happen if?" questions, and can no longer think of any more, you'll have reached your core fear.
Now, think about that core fear for a minute.
Are you really afraid of it?
Most people aren't actually afraid of their core fear---even it's a fear of death, because at the moment of death all physical pain ends. And may Therefore, most people, even when they consider their core fear of death, aren't actually afraid of death itself; they're afraid of theprocess they might have to go through to get there. The pain, the suffering, the possible regrets, the effect on the people they leave behind . . .
In the example about quitting a job, you might be afraid of the feelings that would come up if your decision ended up making you feel like a failure, and then forced you to push past your comfort zone.
When you examine it in this way, you might well decide that you're not actually afraid of what's on the other side. You're not afraid of the core of what can happen . . . you're afraid of everything in between.
But---and here is where the "aha!" moment comes in---as soon as you realize that you can handle the process, you'll succeed in dissolving your fear, regardless of what it is.
And you may well decide that the process you might have to go through is actually well worth the risks, because there is the reward of a more vibrant life at the end of the journey.
What are you really afraid of? Can you handle the process it may take to get there?
What will happen if you can dissolve your fears? How will your life change?
But, more importantly, what will your life be like if you never face your fear?
I had a rough weekend but made it through. I had major surgery on my foot and have been housebound since sept and will be until at least feb. The 2nd surgery was 2 weeks ago. How I have managed my mood is putting it in perspective, accepting it,and thinking positive along with gratitude. I am far from perfect at it and had a horrible sunday. But I made it through. I did have a trip to emergency room because the inept work of a worker at drs office. I panicked by sunday I was not in control of emotions. But once i could calm myself down get the proper splint done right I was ok. I guess what I am getting at life is all situational. I had to rethink and that is the most important.
I have faced the fact that for now i have to sleep on the couch so i can keep fooot elevated in a proper manner. I miss my bed. I miss sleeping with my husband. But I realize there are sacrificesone must make. It isn't the easiest thing but as long as I remain positive and and see the light at the end of the tunneli will make it through. I'm going to go lay down now and rest my foot. I realize also if you keep up hope you heal much quicker. Wish me long for a speedy recovery
I found it helpful when cassandra said put it in perspective. I truly hope I can continue to accept what has happened to me. Although I had a rough night with severe spasms in my foot and of course it started to itch and I can;t scratch it. How annoying is that? I found I have a lot of time to think not being busy. For now I am choosing to think in a positive manner. It isn't always easy. But I believe if i keep a positive mental attitude instead of dwelling I might heal quicker. I have a physical therapist that comes to my home and I was so happy that my leg is stronger and I had no shaking in leg. Although my calf muscle cannot get stronger for now if i keep my upper leg muscles strong and it comes time for me to get boot and be able to semi walk i won't be totally weak. Life gave me a challenge and I refuse to let it control me.
Don't let what you feel you can't do stop you from what you can do. Focus on achievements, not struggles. Get unstuck if you are feeling down. Go forward. Imagine you are climbing a mountain and there will be obstacles to overcome, but one by one you work past them and move on. You can do that today, face the obstacles and move on. Do something small: go for a walk, clean up some area of the house, help a friend, bake something nice, draw, paint, make something. What else can you DO? Watching tv is NOT an option. Reading can be good, but actually doing something where you SEE a difference is really the goal. Then come and tell us about it.
My Husband and I have been battling a cold for over a week. He is not a happy camper and still has to take care of me and his 96 year old mom who lives on her own. plus christmas shopping. I was lucky and did it all on line. But I will admit the cold brings you down and hoping I am not contagious when someone comes to visit. My foot has improved but I am getting numbness again in foot. Trying not to project the worse. I have a knack of doing that than get myself upset. My goal is to be in special boot by Jan 13th but I have this flap that might have to be taken off. I would like to deal with whatever comes my way. Inner strength is so important to me. May I continue to find peace of mind through this ordeal. I have come so far I don't want to go backwards. I decided for christmas eve to stay homw from family gatherinf because there will be about 20 people kids and a small dog and the last thing I want to do is fall. I found peace inside about this and I amn sure they will send food home to me.I have a knee walker but it isn't the most steadiest thing in the world. I realize my limitations for now.
Good job Normajean. It is not easy to pull from within when the stuff on the outside is pulling on you. But to allow the outside stuff to take over is maybe the devil's dance.As you know,it is easy to judge by outer appearances and feel that life is sucking the stamina to stay alive right out of you. But to continue to affirm that there is a strength in the human spirit that cannot be destroyed is quite a feat. Look at all you have learned and how you have grown. Excellent work, you should be very proud! Go forward each day and be grateful and affirm a strong spirit within.